Gumble Grumble Grumble

I suck
again, here I am blatantly slacking off and pasting from my other journal entry today instead of writing anything original for this one.

I'm in a crappy mood
Today was going to be such an awesome day. Well that was three weeks ago when I first arranged the trip. I guess I probably would have been assigned the trip eventually even if I hadn't asked for it. I had no idea when I was in Ohio last month that my co-worker was leaving or that my special lady had met someone. Well I guess that's not entirely true, I knew she'd met someone, but at the time, he was still in between girlfriends so she couldn't even be sure she could see him. At any rate, I was just giddy at the thought of getting to see her again and getting to experience lovemaking that I still haven't been able to describe. Somehow I'd missed something because when I announced that I'd taken this trip and was planning to stay thru the weekend to be with her on Valentines Day, I got blindsided by reality. It's like the title of that movie "Reality Bites". I had no reason to be upset, we live in different states, we had other lovers, we had already discussed that neither of us had intentions of moving so why do I feel so crappy today?

I dont want to start a Harry met Sally type can guys and girls just be friends trend but the plan was to just hang out today and maybe watch the superbowl together. The day isn't all that early anymore and I did make an attempt and place a call, I've heard nothing so my new plan is to sit in my room, watch the game and probably sulk. The strange thing about it is that I actually think it was probably best that we didn't see each other anyway but still I'm sulking. I guess the fact that I couldn't find my original hotel and after driving 30 something miles away decided to fuck it and just get a hotel where I was didn't help. Again, it's a decision that's probably for the best since it's closer to where I'll actually be working this week but nonetheless out in the middle of nothing and sure to be boring. Something about today just sucks. Hopefully my night will be better.

To an extent I'm sure it will, I know I'll see my special west coast peep online sometime tonight and she will definitely bring a smile to my face. I just feel like a jerk somewhat for being grumpy today.