Nope, not gonna do it

We've had lots of little talks and big talks about different things we each need to do or work on to make our relationship work but I'm not budging on this one.

Sorry baby, come hell or high water, I'm not watching Crossroads. It just aint gonna happen.

What do you guys think?

Yes

I had a surprisingly great weekend with Tara and Ryan. It was surprising because going into the weekend there was the very real chance that we were going to break up. Instead we've come out of it stronger than ever and without doubt ready for the next phase of our relationship. I wouldn't say that all of my issues have been fixed because they haven't. However, we have addressed them and put them out in the open which makes it a lot easier to deal with them. Actually, it's probably more that it forces you to deal with them but however it comes out, that it came out allowed us to do something that we'd not really been doing (especially from my end) in a while and that's communicating.

It's the key to a lot more than just relationships but it is very big and the fact that I have learned to be open again with my feelings, even the ones I dont like to share is going to help. I'll read one post down at least once a day plus the scathing email I got from one of my best friends telling me to stop being an asshat to remind me of what I almost lost. So Yes, I do love her enough to do the things necessary to ensure that we make it.

Oh yeah , there was lots of scrumping too. My bedroom issues aren't so much with being able to perform as what I will/wont do during the performance *grin*

Birthday Confessions

Have you ever listened to people describe you to someone else? Listen to them tell someone how wonderful you are or how lucky they may be to have you as a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever? Have you ever sat there listening to them describe you to someone else and look around to see who they're really talking about. What do you do when you dont/cant live up to their expectations/opinion of you? Do you live a lie?

I feel like I definitely live a lie. There are so many areas of my life where I'm perfectly happy with my demeanor, morals or the way I interact with other people. I have a wonderful fiance who deserves much better than me. In our How we Met story, I talked about lies of omission and outright lies. These lies revolve around the one area of my life that I've always had problems with. The one area that as a kid growing up, I'd tried to distort to the point that I hoped I could lose all interest. Sex. Yup sex. I have some serious sexual issues that makes me love it and despise it at the same time. That might sound like most peoples views on sex but it is different for me. I had some rather unpleasant childhood experiences but I cant continue to blame my sexual issues on them if I've done nothing to fix it over the years. It's the simple things, things that I love to do but can't do with those I love. Things that I used to be able to do or want to do all the time but as things got more serious refused to do. I hope that I will never be as bad as Arkies ex and we dont have a problem with having sex or where or when but more the how. Our relationship is not quite like most of our friends and while not unique we do have issues that are somewhat unique. If it were something that I simply could not do period, it wouldn't be a problem, but since it is things that we both know I like and enjoy and given the opportunity can and would do with others it is serious.

I wont get into details but my issues have led to other related issues and the end result was that I did hurt someone I love not once but twice. Why she puts up with me I have no idea but she is the strongest and sweetest person I know and that is just one of the reasons I love her so much. I wish that I was able to ease her fears and stop giving her additional reasons for concern but alas I've failed in that regards on more than one occasion. So for all the nice guy appearance and attempts to be the person that a lot of people think I am. I have failed and continue to fail from time to time and I know that is something that I will have to work on.

Ginger ~ this ones for you

I know she doesn't do blogs but since we did our part to raise the collective average as a whole, I figured I should dedicate this post to her. We took care of the average weekly output twice on thursday alone. Ok, maybe TMI but I dont think I need to go to the gym for a while. I worked out pretty hard the last 5 days. *grin*

It's Scrumping Time

TMI but tis the truth. See yall next week.

Smut that I can't see

I can't see the video. It's not really smutty and is reasonably work-safe.

EDITED: I took the video down cause apparently it has to load completely every time you view the page which probably takes too long for some folks.

For the record, it was an Eyeglasses commercial where a woman and man are parked and it would appear that woman goes downtown. However, when the camera pans down, we find her introducing herself so to speak to the gearshift.

My first Meme

Ok so Puffy got me. I've seen these all over blogland but never done one till now.

Four things

Four jobs I've held:
1. Bagger
2. Corporate office cleaner
3. Administrative Assistant
4. Engineer

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Serendipity
2. Love Actually
3. As Good As It Gets
4. Any Star Wars

Four TV shows I love:
1. 24
2. Desparate Housewives
3. Greys Anatomy
4. Amazing Race

Four places I've vacationed:
(I've been to more exotic places but never on vacation)
1. Las Vegas
2. Orlando
3. Pigeon Forge, TN
4. Toronto

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Google
2. Blogland
3. OT
4. Yahoo

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. West Virginia
2. Bed (Ha I'm in bed)
3. Cruise sounds good (still waiting for my first)
4. The Bahamas

What's your Sign??

STOP Sign or at least it needs to be down here. I was able to get access here at the customer site so thought I'd post a quick update. This place is beautiful in some parts and so-so in others. In the city where I am it's so-so. The weather is great but while they've started a lot of projects, buildings and stuff like that, they haven't finished any in the last 5 years from what they tell me lol. Apparently most of the work that gets done to improve the roads and public buildings only gets done in election years.

Still, it's real nice down here but I wouldn't dare try to drive around here. Hell, I'm scared riding with people down here. We just got back from lunch and like I said before, there are no Stop signs so whoever get's to an intersection first wins. Well except today when we had 6 cars in the intersection and no one wanted to move so someone could actually turn. Tired of those pesky lines in the road, dont let that bother you down here, for the most part they drive on whichever side doesn't have a car on it already. It makes for a very interesting trip to and from the office.

Lunch was awesome as I had some of the best Lasagna I've had in a long time. Last night I had Pig Sushi. Yeah, I made that term up but I didn't know what else to called cured slices of pork that weren't cooked but just hung out to dry. I didn't find that out until after I ate it but it was still pretty good.

Tonight one of our clients is going to take us around town and show us some of the sights. I'm looking forward to it but until then, here are a couple photos I took when we first got here. I'm missing all of you but especially my baby whom I missed out on talking to last night.