Random Thoughts.....

down the line

Silence ~ I always wonder why silence panics me. It's not the silence when I'm with someone. I'm amazingly comfortable with long silences when spending time with friends or loved ones. I talk a lot sometimes but I dont say a whole lot. At least I dont think I do. Which leads me into my next random though.

Boredom ~ I really dont find myself to be all that interesting. I dont think I'm really knocking myself, I just really dont feel that I have that charge that I get from others. I dont think I'm completely boring either but I am just surrounded by people that are way more interesting. I've done interesting things in my life but I can't think of anything recently that would interest the general populace. Should I return to my daredevil ways??? Speaking of which..

Women ~ have always been my weakness. I never really had the daredevil vibe in me but like most men, I will do really stupid things for a cute girl. In retrospect, it's a good thing I'm not gay cause my life really would have been boring if it weren't for some of the stupid things I've done to impress women or get to spend more time with them. I never would have jumped out of a plane if it hadn't been for this and I would have missed out on so much if I hadn't done that. When I was kid all I thought about was getting married and having....

Children ~ I love kids and kids love me, not in the Wacko Jacko sense but I've been babysitting since I was 8 starting in Church. When I was 15 I thought that I would be married with 2.5 kids by the time I was 23 I guess in some form of homage to my heros of the day, my next door neighbors. Yep, I was the typical 15 year old kid in love with the married lady across the street with a little one and Hubby in the service. Ahhh....

Love ~ was so easy back then. It was simple or at least that's how young minds see it. I never really got over my crush(see how quickly love turns to a crush when you're older and wiser) but instead moved on to someone more my own age. Over the years I've had that euphoric feeling on numerous occasions only to find out that it wasn't meant to be. I dont think that speaks to bad luck or really bad choices but to that uncertainty that is true love. I dont know if I'll ever find it and I dont think I'll ever stop looking but at the same time, I know that there will be plenty of heartbreak on both sides of the fence to come

I dont know what triggers the random thoughts in my head but I guess it's part of what makes us human. We're always thinking and wondering and trying to figure out what our meaning or purpose is here on earth. I hope that maybe I'll figure mine out before that fateful day when I take my last breath.