I'm fucking pissed: fucking piece of shit fucking laptop

Ok my post was originally going to be about how I took a shit this afternoon and didn't realize till I got back from the club tonight that the shit never went down and my room doesn't smell like roses and the people at the front desk were going to just put me in a different room but they're too full so now they're just leaving a plunger outside my door.

I had all kinds of semi-cute ancetdotes about our trip to the strip-club that my baby found for us and about Eddie The Tongue otherwise known as my co-worker. Ask T about how he got the nickname the Tongue...lol.

BUT, my fucking laptop is the biggest piece of shit on this earth and I'm not just saying that cause I'm drunk and I'm fat fingering the keys. I'm saying that because I've written this post about 10 times already now and every fucking time before I could finish or hit the post button, some part of my hand would come within 20 feet of the fucking shitty touchpad mouse and the piece of shit would flush my post like my toilet was supposed to flush my shit earlier and didn't. If only I could get the toilet to be as efficient at destroying shit as this piece of shit crap they give me to work with, I might be able to beat the monkey to pieces which was my original plan after coming back from all the hotties at the strip-club.

Side note, I probably shouldn't post when drunk but the story was kinda funny the first 10 times I wrote it. I have no idea what it is now.

Night all

Edited to add: Ok so is it strange for a drunk 35 y/o man to piss in the bathtub with the water running because he still hasn't received expected plunger from the lazy night staff? I considered the sink but that just didn't seem right and there was no way I was taking another chance with flushing the toilet. I want my plunger and I want it now.

You are now free to go Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!