Random Thoughts
It was another uneventful night last night as I spent time with my friends again. Her husband, my best man was out of town and so I helped out with the kids E and J.
I have some stuff planned for this evening so I talked to my sweetie and filled her in on what's going on and then we both fell asleep pretty early, for us.
This morning I woke up early because I have to do a sales pitch to a big customer today. My baby was up and buzzed me and another friend from far away buzzed me too. I wont go into the topic of our conversation but it made me think a bit. And then I talked to my sweetie about it too. Am I reserved? I feel like I've really put myself out here sometimes with the information I've divulged in this blog or that other place but am I really as open as most. I would hesistate to say no because while I am pretty outgoing and flirtacious and a lot of other things online, I'm not so much IRL and even here I am not a big fan of details. I dont know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but it's just me.
I've also wondered if I'm selfish. I know it wouldn't appear that way outwardly but there are issues that me and T have that we dont always discuss openly. She loves me for who I am and hasn't asked me to change, but sometimes the fact that someone doesn't ask you to change or require it, is enough to make you want to change anyway. It's not always a matter of whether a leopard can change his spots or not cause as we know most cannot, but would they if they could or would they try. There are a lot of things that I want to try and see if I can make our relationship even better.
We're still a long way from July but we're working more towards it everyday. I love you baby.
posted by BlindSlim~CSTL at 9:27 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I can't answer your question about whether you are reserved or not. My first reaction was to say, no, you don't seem to be. But then I realized I wouldn't know for sure, unless I knew you IRL.
As for the being selfish part, we all are, to some degree. In no way would I ever associate selfishness, with you, though. You are too hard on yourself. It's good to try and be better, to think about our personality traits and whether we can improve or not, but you need to realize how much you offer just as you are.
Your sweetie is a very lucky woman.
*smooches*
Baby, I think you reserved, but it is not a bad reserved. Well sometimes it is, but for the most part, you just keep things to yourself, which is okay.
No I do not think you are selfish at all. You give so much all the time and never expect anything in return. That is not selfish.
As far as the change, never have I asked you to change anything, nor do I expect it. I love you for exactly who you are.
*smooch*
Your reservations come from failed relationships. It's hard to let it all out there when people have walked all over you in the past. Don't feel bad about it. It's normal, and healthy.
As for being selfish, you're one of the most un-selfish people I know... silly.
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